Updated: Nov 15, 2019
Ethical love magick might sound like an oxymoron. That's because we can often associate love magic and 'love' for that matter with control, obsession, non-consensual practices, cohesion and other negative types of manipulation. But neither love nor ethical love magick should involve such practices and forms of behaviour. They are abusive no matter how they are portrayed in mainstream films and media.
Ethical spell work does not glamour a person, force them to feel things for another, force their will or place a temporary veil over them. I do not invalidate people's consent and agency by forcefully manipulating someone to feel affection or lust for another person. I do spells that work on or draw out the existing love that a person has as for you. This love may be stifled or held back by some past hurt, timidity, wounding or societal pressure against the union etc. That way if your relationship is healed or able to manifest you know that it is based on real feelings, not a glamour that will fade as the magic does.
This is what a lot of people don't realise they are asking for when they go to some witches for love magick—they are getting a glamour that brings that person back into their life, but doesn't hold them or work on the issues between them (that caused them to part). And very quickly their partner is out of their life again.
A witch can give you exactly what you ask for and do an unethical love spell, but if you want a witch to fully assist you, listen to their advice and let them tweak your spell to bring about not just what you want but what you need, which is usually healing.
What does spell work require of me?
Magick requires you to engage with the process and the results.
When a witch does work to improve your life, if you take no action or don’t do any work on your own energy and thoughts the spell will have a limited impact. If you don't do any work, it's the equivalent of doing a love manifestation spell and then refusing to go out your front door but expecting love to deliver its self to you. It won't, of course.
Spells are not pizza deliveries; bringing you whatever you desire to your doorstep.
Spells are first and foremost meant to change you. Even a love spell intended to draw your ex back should change you, your thoughts, feeling and actions to bring you into alignment with your goals. This kind of spell for example still works to open the heart of your chosen paramour, but it should also work on changing your heart and thoughts. There is always work we can do on healing either our self esteem, our thought patterns, or our feelings of self worth. This is the great gift of spellwork - it can put us in touch with this work.
It's also important to have an open mind about what it is I do and the work of other witches. All the better if you educate yourself about what witchcraft is by dipping into the resources I have listed on my website. You can show respect to witches by reading up on witchcraft and paganism and getting even a very basic idea of what energy medicine is. At the very least, it's a good idea to treat your relationship with a witch as a reciprocal one where there is give and take.